


Between the Shadow and the Soul

by Glump



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, at least not in the way other shows do it, how their relationship turned into what it is, so this is my addition on how their love began, the start of their relationship is never talked about in canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 14:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16477202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glump/pseuds/Glump
Summary: Title and inspiration taken from Sonnet 17 by Pablo Neruda. There's just something about the kind of love he describes, about the way the lovers never even have to specify or act on their love to know that it is real that just sounds magical to me. "I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,in secret, between the shadow and the soul."





	Between the Shadow and the Soul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [antsy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/antsy/gifts).



When Yuuri first laid eyes on Victor, all smile and teeth and carefully coiffed hair, printed onto the shiny pages of a gossip magazine, he knew he was lost.   
He was a boy, far too young to understand the depth of real love, but there was something about Victor that seared itself onto Yuuri’s heart. He would later call it a little crush, would deny that there was anything deeper going on because how did you explain to your friends that you’re in love with someone you’ve never even exchanged words with. He kept it to himself, knew even then that sometimes words failed their purpose, just weren't enough, that sometimes the best action was no action at all.   
Yuuri outgrew his pants, pantlegs abruptly showing too much ankle, the sleeves on his shirts suddenly too short and tight to cover his wrists anymore. He kept his boyish features though - big eyes and toothy grin and laughter that rang so crisp and sharp it made whoever heard it join right in. He caught himself a few times while staring in a mirror, wishing that he looked more like the other boys who grew stubble on their chin and strong bushy brows above their eyes. He wished he looked manly, masculine, like a real adult.   
That wouldn't happen. 

Out of the endless days of one's life, only a few memories tended to stick. Even fewer memories were actually worth keeping around and out of those, only a handful would prove to be actually and literally life-changing.   
Victor experienced one as soon as he clicked onto the video clip. He didn't expect to experience one, no one ever really does, but the moment the loading screen was replaced by a rendition of one of his own performances by a young man, he's done for. As soon as the video ended he played it again, and again, and once more before he could form a plan of action before he decided that whatever happened, he needed to meet this guy. He needed to see Yuuri. 

Everything after just felt natural - coaching Yuuri, meeting his parents and sister and friends, training Yuuri to be exceedingly resilient and strong and elegant, sharing plates of long-cold after-practice middle-of-the-night dinner with him, stealing sips of tea from his mug and convincing him, over time, that his too-big-eyes and feminine face were good enough.   
The reality of it all was a little overwhelming to some at first, and Yuuri caught his father and mother sharing concerned looks over their heads sometimes. They weren't used to Yuuri forming a bond to someone so quickly. It didn't feel concerning to them at all.   
They never talked about it. Not with each other, not with friends or the press or skating competitors.   
Victor and Yuuri just were, and that was enough. 

There were speculations, sure. People that suspected there was more than just friendship or companionship. There was the internet fanbase, making up more and more ridiculous sounding theories as to why and how they were hiding their apparently epic love story from the rest of the world, even going so far as to cite fake interviews from their friends and family. Some went into the opposite direction, convinced that the two were secretly deeply hateful towards each other.   
Victor and Yuuri never bothered to reply to any of it. 

Something about them, something hidden and dark and rooted in their very souls, pulled them towards each other. There was never a big love declaration. They didn't have a need for that anyway.   
They knew of their feelings, were so sure of them in fact that their relationship didn't transform with a kiss and didn't need physical contact to manifest. When they did kiss for the first time it wasn't at all cinematic.   
It was romantic and sweet and made their lips tingle and sting as if they had eaten a particularly spicy meal but it wasn't big or dramatic.   
They sat next to each other on the bench outside the rink, huddled closely together for warmth when Yuuri turned his head and gently closed the space between them.   
The first time they spent the night in the same bed nothing happened. There was no need, no rush to finalize their relationship with sex. When they did have sex, it was nice, it was damn close to perfect, but it didn't change anything. It was already good. 

It took them forever to decide what to do about the rest of the world.   
There was a part of them that wanted to protect their relationship and each other from the public. They didn't want to share this with anyone else, it seemed far too intimate and important.   
When they finally showed the rest of the world, something in them ached and yearned to take it back. But it was done, and it was okay, it had to be okay. 

Getting used to sharing was hard. But they adapted.   
Once in a while, Victor would sneak a picture of them kissing into his Instagram feed, declare his love for Yuuri on Twitter or film him napping on his shoulder on Snapchat.   
By the time they had gotten engaged, even Yuuri was ready to share, kissing Victor before entering the rink or holding his hand after with the paparazzi around. But there was no need to do it, either. 

It was nice, sometimes, to escape the public and just be them again for a little while.   
All they really needed was each other, no press, no big relationship talk, no words.   
Because what they had - it existed purely between them, between the shadow and the soul.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and inspiration taken from Sonnet 17 by Pablo Neruda. There's just something about the kind of love he describes, about the way the lovers never even have to specify or act on their love to know that it is real that just sounds magical to me. "I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,in secret, between the shadow and the soul."


End file.
